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Bad Movies - Batman & Robin
Nipples. I can sum up how bad this film is in one word, nipples. Why in the world do super heroes have nipples molded into there latex crime fighting gear? Does this give them some edge over the villains? Usually I will actually give a review of a bad movie or cult film, but man, I can't even begin to do so with this one.
It's bad on so many levels. I really think it makes the old TV series look good. Arnold Schwarzenegger uses one liners as his entire dialogue. That's his conversation. I do believe he used every single one liner in the history of films in this movie. I actually saw this in theaters. Right now it's on TBS and I am, for your benefit, subjecting myself to this crap for the second time tonight. May God have mercy on my soul.
Hockey Sticks?!?!?
A lot of people have claimed Battle Field Earth was perhaps the worst movie ever made. They have a really good argument. I've seen it. Plan 9 from Outer Space held that title for decades, and may still hold it officially. I've seen that too. I assure you that this film ranks right up there with these movies. I think it may have even beat it in my book.
Nipples!
I am slightly biased, I have a huge Batman comic collection. That Batman doesn't make jokes and I'm pretty sure he doesn't have nipples. At least not on his suit. Tim Burton was at least sort of close to this one. Has anyone else noticed that Chris O'Donnel didn't do a whole lot after Batman Forever? Neither did Alicia Silverstone. In fact, I'm fairly certain Uma Thurman wasn't exactly busy either.
I believe Arnold has some nipple there.
You know, I'm fairly certain there is a special place in hell where this film is played over and over.
It wasn't all bad!
So, to sum up, nipples.