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![]() Goma
![]() ![]() So you want to know a little more about Goma? Well you've come to the right place. First, a little history.
![]() Goma was discovered circa 1989 in Columbia, Maryland by two 15 year old boys. Although the exact whereabouts of His discovery are unknown, they can roughly be placed between Dobbin Center and the Owen Brown pool. Goma was cleverly disguised as a juice bottle shaped like an alligator when he first appeared to them. Sensing greatness within this strange new discovery, the two took it home with them.
![]() Goma seemed to have plans for these two, and over the next several months His plans would unfold. Goma first led the boys to his sacred Bridge of Yar, which was pretty much just a fallen tree over a creek they could have jumped anyway. Once across the creek, Goma instructed the boys to build His first temple. And so they did. The first Temple of Goma was a simple structure, about three feet high and just as deep. Outside of this is where Goma was placed, as both boys could not fit in the Temple, let alone with the new found deity.
![]() It turns out that Goma had instructed them to build His Temple in the swamp behind the garden plots in Owen Brown, which in Gomaism, is now referred to as the Gardens of Goma (Goma, as you will see, is not exactly the most original deity). Once constructed, the youths were shown a shorter way out than the Bridge of Yar, and thus it was lost. Slowly Goma's followers began to grow, and the flock was almost in double digits, when tragedy struck.
![]() In honor of Goma a party was thrown and the flock worked hard to obtain the Sacred Juice of Goma (this will be explained later, for now just know that juice always refers to beer or liquor). His juices were consumed by all and all night long. By morning, Goma had blessed them with so much juice, that there was still about a case and a half left. So, with the rising of the sun the flock set out to the Temple to place it in storage for the next time they were to celebrate Goma.
![]() A few days past and the flock returned to the temple. As they entered, they discovered that thieves had stolen their Sacred Juice and scattered their empty containers all about Goma's Holy Land. Confused and enraged that Goma could let such a thing happen, the flock destroyed the temple, turning their back on Goma.
![]() Goma cursed His former flock for their blasphemy. For the next six years they were cut off from the Juices of Goma. On the off chance that they did somehow manage to obtain some, horrible consequences would always follow.
![]() As the years past, and the boys grew older, Goma once again touched their lives. Now Goma is back, and his flock grows bigger everyday. The two boys, now men, were tasked by The Great Juice Holding One to spread the Goma word of happiness, and they are happy to do so.
![]() One of those boys was me.
![]() NEXT TIME: SO WHAT'S GOMA ALL ABOUT? ARE THERE RULES? HOLIDAYS? WHERE IS GOMA NOW?
![]() ![]() Goma made of clay.
Based off original relic.
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